Confessions of a Community Castaway

And a wake up call from the Surgeon General

Lately, I’ve caught myself in a strange world of suspicion. Cozied up in a coffee shop corner, I glanced at the people surrounding me, sizing up how much or little we had in common. I worried who might react if they saw the cover of my book or the words on my computer screen.

At the physical therapist office, I overheard an earful of political commentary talking about how some group is going to be in for a “rude awakening” and turned to see an elderly man looking down at a screen. He quickly muted his phone and surreptitiously slid it into his pocket. Which side? I pondered. Is he with me or against me?

In traffic, I participated in a very specific kind of road rage. I labeled drivers that wouldn’t let me merge as maga voters, shot lasers from my eyes at minivans with TRUMP stickers, and memorized a business name plastered on the side of a Cybertruck, just to remember never to patronize the place.

In short, I’ve been holding on to some contentious feelings pretty strongly.

Earlier this week, I was searching for some insight into how to navigate such a fraught civic environment. I wondered how to move forward with noticeable distrust and resentment permeating everyday life. It is an uncomfortable, closed up feeling to always be expecting some kind of enemy, some kind of conflict.

This month, Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy explained how this kind of isolation and distance from one another can be detrimental to our physical and mental health. He sees it linked to heart disease, dementia, depression and premature death. He details how social chasms infect society and create conditions in which it is hard for any of us to flourish. It is part of what he sees as an American health crisis.

Dr. Murthy emphasized community as one of the necessities for healing these ails in his My Parting Prescription for America. He made the case for purpose, relationships, and service as vital for disease prevention and overall well being. In his conclusion he said,

“Today, we are faced with a profound choice. Do we continue with the status quo, marked by pain, disconnection, and division? Or do we choose a different path—one of joy, health, and fulfillment where we turn toward each other instead of away from each other, where we choose love over fear, where we recognize community as the irreplaceable foundation for our well-being? As I finish my tenure as Surgeon General, this is my parting prescription, my final wish for all of us: Choose community.”

It is humbling to be a community facilitator by trade and also be really profoundly feeling lost in how to be a part of community right now. It is a conundrum to deeply believe in the power of collective action and cooperation, and to also doubt that a large swath of the nation can garner the compassion necessary to come together. I both dream of and question the likelihood of our political divides softening.

I am reminded, in the middle of this turmoil, of a simple line full of truth: “Out of difficulties grow miracles.”

The author was 17th century French philosopher Jean de La Bruyère, a middle class man born into a time of political strife and severe inequity. He was famously critical of the aristocratic society that he had unique access to as a librarian. He spurned and was spurned by aspects of the social and political structures in France.

Yet, he so beautifully expressed the opportunity he saw for change.

Despite the visible conflict and stubborn selfishness in the ether right now, I have to believe that our country and its leaders can make it through this contentious moment. There are enough of us who want to shed the plague of caustic tension that comes with political outrage constantly being stirred up and shoved in our faces. I believe there may be enough of us who want peace.

As part of walking in this faith, I am seeking out and willing myself into true community, into the world of giving people the benefit of the doubt. I’m deliberately suspending judgement, and not letting it run as wild as our politicians would encourage us to. I’m going back to the conversations, back to the building, back to faith in humanity.

To me, this is just as defiant to trumpism as anything else.

As these actions innately reject the volatility and isolationism that are hallmarks of maga, they make way for something better. They open doors of communication, they rebuild relationships, and they plant seeds so that a miracle might grow.

With love and hope for the future,

Stephanie

What is one step, large or small, that you feel like takes you closer to feelings of community now? How are you finding connection?

Read more:

Dr. Vivek Murthy My Parting Prescription for America