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Alicia's avatar

I like what you had to say. My feelings are as follows: I am horrified living in America now. I am too old, too sick and too poor to leave the only country I have ever lived. Otherwise I would leave. I am also scared for - what is left of - my family and our collective futures for we are on Social Security and I get 100$ a mo for food which of course doesnt feed me, but helps. I do not want to become homeless before I die. I am disabled and will die before 65 if I were to become homeless. I am so depressed about tfg being elected and do think about those who made this possible suffering the consequences. That is depressing to think about but what is worse is all who voted against what we knew would happen having to suffer.

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Dr. Stephanie Lovely's avatar

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and fears, Alicia. As ridiculous as tfg is, he is also really scary. Stay strong ❤️

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Liane Albert's avatar

Thanks for the article… I live in NC with a Democrat, Roy Cooper who just finished two terms as Governor and another Democrat Josh Stein who is just starting his first term in that very same office after beating a Republican nominee Mark Robinson who had a serious issue with gay porn.

My name is Liane, I’m 55 and I live in Raleigh, NC. I think for the most part Wake and Durham County are blue but the rest, not so much. I feel utterly defeated living in America. I have had three major panic attacks. What terrifies me the most is what Trump has accomplished in just a few weeks after saying he knew nothing about P 2025 and that we won’t need to have anymore elections. I have a gut feeling he used Elon to cheat and win this election. So, what terrifies me is that he cheated, talked about not having to vote again and has already had ppl talking about a third term so I’m afraid we’ll never get him out, that Dems will never win fairly and that when Elon gets pushback, he’ll be like “make me do it”…

How will Dems win again and why have they not even bought up that conversation. I doubt they can prove it. Will the military refuse orders? All of this is swirling in my head and scares the hell out of me!

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Dr. Stephanie Lovely's avatar

There is so much unknown right now, and he's awful, and it's scary.

I'm grateful you have Stein in your state. Let's keep looking for better ways to stop his progress. Do you see good avenues for resistance in your Raleigh area?

Thank you for reading and for sharing, Lianne ❤️

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Liane Albert's avatar

Thanks so much for the response. I have looked for likeminded groups - NC Democrats or other groups of that nature. I started out with them because I want to attend the protest tomorrow at the state house but I saw very limited amounts of new posts. So I don’t know how active they are. One person did say they that they weren’t sure about who is organizing that the marches / protest in all 50 states tomorrow and wasn’t sure who was organizing and wondered if it would safe. If you know anything about the 50 marches/50 states and who’s organizing, etc… OR if you have better ways of finding like minded people, I’d really love the advice. Doing anything feels better much better than doing nothing. 💕🙏🏻🪧!

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Dr. Stephanie Lovely's avatar

I will ask around and see what I can find around your area. Maybe someone will read this comment and have a connection to NC protest groups. We need to get you plugged in, if you're ready to go!!

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Elli's avatar

Thank you! I have been struggling mightily with my feelings about family members who voted for this chaos for this is exactly what they wanted. I don’t want to live in the kind of world they want to impose on others, full of hate and cruelty. The grief has been with me for decades but has become overwhelming at times, especially since this past weekend. I know the conflict is not over yet and decency may still prevail. These people may be lost to me but I still live in America, not Romania, and hope it does not come to that. Doing whatever I can to prevent that.

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Dr. Stephanie Lovely's avatar

I'm choosing to believe decency will still prevail, too. Thank you for reading, commenting, and fighting for America ❤️

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AMack's avatar

I live in Maryland, a so-called blue state. Yet Trump turned two blue counties red and every other county and the cities showed an uptick in Trump voters over 2016 and 2020. Gov. Wes Moore is a godsend, but I’m seeing Trump stickers and cyber trucks. I would love to move to Ghana. In the meantime, I’m stocking up on rice, dried beans, and water.

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Dr. Stephanie Lovely's avatar

Wow. That is dismaying. I wonder what's going on there. I understand the stocking up. It feels like one way to prepare for the unknown. Thank you for reading and sharing your experience.

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AMack's avatar

The reason Maryland was redder this time has to do with Asian and Latino voters, who primarily reside in blue counties, voting for Trump. Maryland also has deeply entrenched MAGA areas in Western Maryland and the Eastern Shore. Never underestimate the role racism plays in the voting booth.

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Eve Fox, Feed Your Fight's avatar

This is lovely Dr. Lovely. We need more open sharing of feelings, fears, hopes, experiences, viewpoints without hatred or judgment. I, too, have been grappling with the same questions about our countrypeople. I keep coming back to Anne Frank's words in her remarkable diary, "In spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart." I also love the note about Quaker tradition which I don't personally have any experience with as I've recently been thinking similar things about the power of a good therapist - someone who is there to listen to us with empathy and without judgment to help us arrive at the answers we have within us. Just subscribed!

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Dr. Stephanie Lovely's avatar

Absolutely, Eve. Thank you for those reminders and inspirations. And thank you for reading and subscribing ❤️

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Overly_Anxious's avatar

The results of this election took me out at the knees, despite trying to prepare myself for whatever the outcome was. The last time he was elected I was just out of college and did not pay much attention to it. This time around it seems so much more dangerous and terrifying. I have been in one of the worst anxious states I’ve ever experienced.

2 weeks ago however, the love of my life asked me to marry him, of course I said yes, we have been together for 6 years. I am truly over the moon happy. And at the same time I am struggling with my joy and my fear of the future. I worry that if I plan the wedding, something’s going to happen that will make it so it can’t happen, war, economic crash, deep, scary fears that America tumbles into WW2 style dictatorship.

All of this fear is clashing with the joy and love that I know I should be feeling and do feel as I enter this next chapter. I feel like I’m backed into a corner with every emotion yelling at me all at once. Paralyzed.

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Dr. Stephanie Lovely's avatar

Congratulations on your engagement! Also, that is a tough one! I can imagine feeling that way in your shoes. It is a really shocking time. Thank you for sharing this experience, I bet there are a lot of people who can relate.

Hold tight to that love of yours, and please celebrate it well. It's so needed right now. Cheers ❤️

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Malcolm J McKinney's avatar

This Stack is a good community of people who respect each other, sharing feelings, help, opinions, and jokes, though the mosquitoes have gotten more numerous lately.

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Dr. Stephanie Lovely's avatar

Substack is one of the healthiest online communities I've found. Glad you are a part of it, Malcolm. Thank you for reading.

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Debbie Lajoie's avatar

Thank you for this Dr Lovely!

I live in Florida and we all know what that means! I am very scared and nervous about what our country will be like in 4 years or even less. With DT and Musk

already destroying everything, I have contemplated moving out of America 🇺🇸

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Dr. Stephanie Lovely's avatar

It is a scary time. Stay strong in Florida, Debbie ❤️Thank you for reading.

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Melissa Satterwhite's avatar

Stephanie, thank you for what you wrote. You plucked every string in my bruised heart and mind. I’ve felt all these things. I can’t sleep through the night with worry and anxiety. It has been so bad, I’ve scheduled time with a therapist though I have to wait three weeks for an appointment. I currently have an outbreak of hives in my head! It’s bad.

Thank you, because now I don’t feel so alone.

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Dr. Stephanie Lovely's avatar

You are definitely not alone. Stay strong,Melissa. It sounds like you’re doing some brave things to take care of yourself. Thank you for reading and for sharing your experience ❤️

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Susan MacNeil, PhD's avatar

Such a moving story. It’s hard to be alone when the heart is breaking.

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Dr. Stephanie Lovely's avatar

There's comfort in grieving together, and easier to find a way out of it, I think. Thank you for reading, Susan❤️

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Lynn Peters's avatar

Your posts really move me. Thank you!

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Dr. Stephanie Lovely's avatar

Thank you for reading, Lynn!

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Jena Ball's avatar

LOVE: "...Quaker tradition that allows a person facing a difficulty to go before a panel of their peers who simply ask clarifying questions. There’s no judgement, no leading probes. The idea is that people have the answers they are searching for within them, they just have to be in a space that can bring them out."

I have seen this so many times when doing bodywork. As a newbie I quickly learned that there was nothing I could do to "fix" others. I could hold space, help them relax, and ease some of their physical pain but the answers had to come from them. I learned to never put my hands on someone unless I was completely centered, had boundaries clearly set, and was intent on paying attention to their essential selves rather than their drama and pain. It wasn't easy, but it taught me something invaluable about people - beneath everything there is love.

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Dr. Stephanie Lovely's avatar

What a wonderful sentiment, Jena. Thank you for sharing that and thank you for reading ❤️

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Jena Ball's avatar

You are welcome. I was touched by your post and the positive energy it is generating, so thank YOU.

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Laurie Ducharme's avatar

I just can't get past the misogyny and racism. It's a line. I have a daughter who I adopted from China. The mama bear in me won't let me tolerate people who cause her harm.

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Dr. Stephanie Lovely's avatar

I’m with you. It doesn’t seem fine to move past that. Thanks for reading and sharing, Laurie.

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DrBDH's avatar

I’m minding that the fascists are taking over. I’m minding that a lot. That’s my mindfulness, for now.

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Dr. Stephanie Lovely's avatar

That definitely weighs heavy on the mind these days.

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Al Bellenchia's avatar

Thank you for this. It brings comfort, as do so many of the people who share our common ground.

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Dr. Stephanie Lovely's avatar

Absolutely. Thank you for being here, Al!

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