Keep a Green Tree in Your Heart

We need it more than ever

Last weekend, my husband and I made a concerted effort to put up our tree, but halfway through, we looked at each other and knew it wasn’t worth it. With a toddler and an aging pup, it was clearly going to be more trouble than it was worth, and we promptly packed the tree back in its box. We ended up mustering our energy enough to throw some ornaments on two Charlie Brown trees that we’d kept from our apartment days.

Today as I was wrapping presents, I looked at our tiny trees with their giant toppers and randomly curated ornaments. It was a humbling sight to say the least. All of our holiday spirit kind of tucked into this one cramped corner of the fireplace. It felt shoved to the side, missing all the meaning and joy of the season.

I tried to fix it. I moved a tree to the middle of the room, right in everyone’s eyeline. As I went to move the presents under its little branches, I heard my son exclaim, “Bumpin!” In no time at all he had made a bee-line for the pumpkin ornament. Then the whale. Then whatever his tiny hand could grab as I rushed to hold him back.

The tree returned to its protective crevice, but now I was laughing. Now the shrunken Christmas showcase just seemed necessary, and maybe even bold.

We have a lot going on… The country just went through a harrowing election season. We’re watching the horrific outcome in real time. The news is once again disturbingly weird and stressful, on a consistent basis. To add to the chaos, in this house, we have a pissed off cat, a blind dog, a toddler, and a plague of walking pneumonia.

Look at this clever way we found to still show up in the world. Look at us having a good time with it.

One of my favorite quotes popped into my head. It is one I came across in a library garden years ago, and I don’t think it’s ever rung more true for me than right now.

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come.

-Chinese proverb

It’s hard to hold tight to the things that give life meaning when so many forces undermine them. I don’t think I have adequate words for it. When there is such clear and rampant corruption by people with real control over our world, it almost feels acquiescent to go on with life as normal. It feels artificial to ignore the injustice of it all and fully enjoy a moment. Sometimes it seems naive to believe that anything we do makes a difference.

And I think those are all feelings of despair. I think they are the quiet, creeping ways that we give away our power.

To me, keeping a green tree in my heart means taking action to support my belief in myself and my world. Planting it there, even when so many are telling me it isn’t worth my while. Even when I doubt that it is. Even when the effort I put up seems small or unworthy.

Keeping the tree is keeping a way to move forward.

And what about that singing bird who may come? When I think about her, I think about that moment of laughter, of enjoyment, of success. I remember another beloved allegory, a beautifully wise and simple line from Emily Dickinson:

Hope is the thing with feathers-

that perches on the soul-

and sings the tune without the words-

and never stops at all.

-Emily Dickinson

Despite the outcome of the election, I am so proud of this country. I am proud that almost half of us have come so far that we basked in Kamala’s vision of America. That we didn’t give up on Ukraine, that we pressed and succeeded to get ethics reports released, that we stand up to abusive industries with strikes and boycotts, and that locally, we push for park funding and fair housing. I am proud that we are fighting against Elon Musk and Donald Trump running over democracy and undermining the American Dream.

On this site alone, but not only on this site, I read the words and see the actions of so many people dedicated to standing up against tyranny. Little and big, as much as we can support, we are keeping the green trees in our hearts. And I know our birds will come.

With love and hope for the future,

Stephanie