Keep Moving and Fight On

Head up, eyes forward

Open eyes. Pull on jeans. Grab phone. DO NOT LOOK AT PHONE. Step, step, step, step. Pull door handle. Step, step, step. I feel the floor beneath me. Breathe. I’m still here. These walls are standing. Our world is still here. Push open door. 

“Hey, sweet boy!” Flip on the light. Look him in the eyes. Smile. Pick up baby. Smile again. Be here. 

My son cuddles into me. I comb his hair with my fingers, and I will the heartbreak out of my eyes. He deserves more, and so do I. 

So, I move through the motions. Eating a healthy breakfast was important yesterday, so it’s important today. Same with brushing teeth, same with wearing sunscreen, same with playing with cars and reading books. 

We must continue to strengthen ourselves and bolster our spirits. We’re training ourselves to stand up to a cruel enemy. 

I connect with teachers at the preschool. I stop on the way back and pick up brown sugar and yogurt and talk with a grocery store clerk about his 3-day-old grandbaby. I wave a car to go ahead of me on my way home. 

This is the fragile fabric of our community, and we have to lean into it, even when we feel like running away or kicking it to the curb. We’re defying the dictator who depends on an eroding trust between neighbors. 

Today is unbelievably sad and infuriating. Thinking back over this long, gut-wrenching, roller coaster of a campaign season, it seems impossible that Harris lost. But she did, and here we are again. The only difference between now and 2016 is that we know how bad Trump is as a president, and we know that he is primed to be worse this time around. So, we know we have to keep moving, through the numbness, pain, and loneliness. We will heal as we go.

We have to keep building, even as we grieve. It begins with us moving our feet and kick starting our hearts back up. We will recover because we keep trying, keep learning, and keep challenging the status quo. We will overcome this setback, because we are determined to believe that the system that enabled it can be defeated. 

Keep moving and keep fighting. 

With love and hope for the future,

Stephanie