Lately, as a woman....I have begun to question my acceptance of the crumbs of equality swept our way. Understand, I do not consider my struggle as hard or difficult in comparison to what women of color face, but I find myself furious. Simply furious to have wasted a minute, on makeup, clothes, and acquiescence. And those that know me would never describe me as a milk toast. Still I gave grace to men....who should have been called on the carpet, for their million and one little microaggresive comments...their condescending remarks, on and on....I worked primarily with men. To my credit, I never let it slow me down nor took any of it personally....so why am I furious? Because society allows this environment of turning women into a commodity to be tolerated, exploited, and disregarded...unless they are forced to do otherwise. And....I can say...it was men who gave me my chances. One...was a sexist....the other not. Yet I held no grudge.
Still, I know...the internal insistance to be treated as a partner, a fully respected collaborator has surfaced with a fury....and spread. I now demand consideration for myself, my sisters of color, for the environment, and for animals. The challenge now...is how to be heard...how to rally and not scare off similar budding ideologically driven people...
Hi Susan, thanks for reading! I think there are more and more of us now who are looking critically at the social structure and political systems we live in and confronting them directly.
However, playing by the rules and working for change and equality within these system was and still is an important step that got us to the point we can do that.
It sounds like you’re doing a great job of using your experience and your voice to help others and even join with others working for change.
Having said that, yeah! I get it! Sexism and racism are infuriating in all the ways.
I didn’t use to think this way, or maybe more precisely, I didn’t want to consider this point of view. My work in affordable housing has made me reconsider.
It seems that one - consciously or not - objectifies and dehumanizes that which one wants to control for his own purposes, rather than a collective good. It serves to make the pursuit/acquisition/conquest more internally defensible?
Absolutely. There’s a lot that doesn’t sit well about how some of our social institutions function, and often those uncomfortable areas are tied to the rationale for unlimited wealth accumulation that those in power have established over centuries.
Affordable housing conversations relentlessly butt up against those problematic ideals. It seems like slowly but surely, there’s progress being made there. Are there any ways you find successful in pushing back against that dehumanization?
Sadly, not really. I don’t think many want to go there yet, which partly is why we have not made a lot of progress there, say versus the conservation movement. We may be seeing some movement, but only due to the fact that the problem has now transcended the traditionally disenfranchised, and impacted more of the blue collar class and their offspring. “People like us…”
Trump and his Father took advantage of the affordable housing funds from the Federal Government & didn't think one iota of doing so including making life miserable for existing tenants that he couldn't remove! My Father always told us to live within are means and now I totally understand why
After reading and getting to know about many and varied GOP males, it just blows my mind how any woman would want to subject themselves as a partner, wife or girlfriend.
Even when there was a seismic shift in Republican politics over the years watching values change… how does a family unit of wives, daughters, sisters, mothers support or stay with the “head of the household”?
I’m looking for explanations of that dynamic, which I haven’t accepted yet. Really, I’m that shallow (about staying in a marriage.)
Deedee, I agree - you are correct. I’ve seen that over my lifetime - a kind of familial indoctrination. Not necessarily bad and you don’t read that they are out there shooting people. But I’m always hopeful that somewhere along the way these women ARE making decisions for themselves that don’t always line up with what their husbands are preaching/believing.
I don't agree, it might play a part of the original attraction? Oh he's a good provider good with children & like's my cat's but eventually after the honeymoon phase they get comfortable and can no longer hide their controlling ways! I get mad at myself for not seeing it in the beginning
Long ago I heard it said that men are the romantic gender. Well, I guess that's true if you can live your life making messes along your way and depending upon your wife who follows you 5 steps behind to clean up after you, yeah. I'd be romantic, too, if men shared the diaper changing, listening and teaching and playing with the kids, taking turns with all the household chores because, as it is, we both bring home the bacon but I'm always the one who has to clean up the grease all over the place.
As for women in marriage who stay at home? I'm okay if that makes them happy. But there are too many women in that situation who are economic hostages because they cannot work outside the home and bring home their salary. That kind of dependency depends entirely on the psychological makeup of the husband. Many of those women are lucky. But not all women are lucky.
There will be no equal rights or conservation/climate control if the MAGAS and Project 2025 take over. I am still hopeful that the path will be more forward looking with Democracy. I know I don’t want to go backwards!
Thank you, Dr. Lovely for introducing me to Neil Smith and his work. I see the parallel; Women & Nature as commodities. Both romanticized and sacrificed for what?
Is a reframe possible through conservation? That is a growing consciousness, (hope it’s not too late for mother earth!).
Regarding resources;
What would it look like if women practiced this in their own lives?
Great questions! I think you hit on an important point there, deconstructing these ideas in our own minds is crucial for finding solutions out in the world.
Also, it’s funny you mentioned Mother Earth because smith leads into this passage talking about how it’s no mistake nature is referred to as feminine as it’s romanticized.
As it seems history (and nature) has taught us that no seismic change ever occurs without friction, I posit that what we are experiencing is the friction of a seismic change trying to happen. Recognizing that there is a need for change begins the process, but the friction of anger, rebellion, refusal to participate, calling out the injustice, really starts to push the shift in a forward direction. I think we are where we need to be - learning, recognizing, beginning to object and refusing to participate. With that comes more friction, and not often without some real consequences. But I am heartened that it is necessary and will bring our daughters and granddaughters into the light, if not us. So I embrace the place we are in and will not shirk from calling it out wherever necessary. If we do that, we’re giving our daughters and granddaughters permission to do it too.
Great post. I don’t know Smith’s work, but a number of Ecofeminists (sub-genre of Feminist philosophy that I teach in my Environmental Ethics courses) have made the same argument. The pattern is the same- creating an out- group and then de-valuing them because they’re different (JD Vance’s “childless cat ladies” comment is a perfect example)
I need to read that book. I’ll ad that to my list. Thank you for mentioning it.
I do believe his words you quoted are very much true and precise, but mostly so in a particular political party. They’re brainwashed by their fake rendition of a Christian God, and that is the most important factor here. Their bible tells them women are the weaker sex. We have to be kept in place, but should be available for their pleasure at all times.
Of course, that carries over into everything they do.
Love the quote by Neil Smith however, he should have included ANIMALS! The treatment of women and animals in a capitalist society parallels the treatment of nature.
Lately, as a woman....I have begun to question my acceptance of the crumbs of equality swept our way. Understand, I do not consider my struggle as hard or difficult in comparison to what women of color face, but I find myself furious. Simply furious to have wasted a minute, on makeup, clothes, and acquiescence. And those that know me would never describe me as a milk toast. Still I gave grace to men....who should have been called on the carpet, for their million and one little microaggresive comments...their condescending remarks, on and on....I worked primarily with men. To my credit, I never let it slow me down nor took any of it personally....so why am I furious? Because society allows this environment of turning women into a commodity to be tolerated, exploited, and disregarded...unless they are forced to do otherwise. And....I can say...it was men who gave me my chances. One...was a sexist....the other not. Yet I held no grudge.
Still, I know...the internal insistance to be treated as a partner, a fully respected collaborator has surfaced with a fury....and spread. I now demand consideration for myself, my sisters of color, for the environment, and for animals. The challenge now...is how to be heard...how to rally and not scare off similar budding ideologically driven people...
Hi Susan, thanks for reading! I think there are more and more of us now who are looking critically at the social structure and political systems we live in and confronting them directly.
However, playing by the rules and working for change and equality within these system was and still is an important step that got us to the point we can do that.
It sounds like you’re doing a great job of using your experience and your voice to help others and even join with others working for change.
Having said that, yeah! I get it! Sexism and racism are infuriating in all the ways.
We need to evolve - immediately.
I didn’t use to think this way, or maybe more precisely, I didn’t want to consider this point of view. My work in affordable housing has made me reconsider.
It seems that one - consciously or not - objectifies and dehumanizes that which one wants to control for his own purposes, rather than a collective good. It serves to make the pursuit/acquisition/conquest more internally defensible?
Absolutely. There’s a lot that doesn’t sit well about how some of our social institutions function, and often those uncomfortable areas are tied to the rationale for unlimited wealth accumulation that those in power have established over centuries.
Affordable housing conversations relentlessly butt up against those problematic ideals. It seems like slowly but surely, there’s progress being made there. Are there any ways you find successful in pushing back against that dehumanization?
Thank you for reading and for the work you do!
Sadly, not really. I don’t think many want to go there yet, which partly is why we have not made a lot of progress there, say versus the conservation movement. We may be seeing some movement, but only due to the fact that the problem has now transcended the traditionally disenfranchised, and impacted more of the blue collar class and their offspring. “People like us…”
Trump and his Father took advantage of the affordable housing funds from the Federal Government & didn't think one iota of doing so including making life miserable for existing tenants that he couldn't remove! My Father always told us to live within are means and now I totally understand why
After reading and getting to know about many and varied GOP males, it just blows my mind how any woman would want to subject themselves as a partner, wife or girlfriend.
Even when there was a seismic shift in Republican politics over the years watching values change… how does a family unit of wives, daughters, sisters, mothers support or stay with the “head of the household”?
I’m looking for explanations of that dynamic, which I haven’t accepted yet. Really, I’m that shallow (about staying in a marriage.)
Some things will never add up for me either, but it helps to think about the systems people are acting within. Smith’s book is awesome in that regard.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and for reading!
They’re extremely useful….😉
So glad to hear. Thank you for reading!
These gop women married to those men grew up with fathers like that. Pastors and whoever else. It’s all
They know. They been smashed down for so long they have no idea how anyone else lives.
Deedee, I agree - you are correct. I’ve seen that over my lifetime - a kind of familial indoctrination. Not necessarily bad and you don’t read that they are out there shooting people. But I’m always hopeful that somewhere along the way these women ARE making decisions for themselves that don’t always line up with what their husbands are preaching/believing.
Finances play a huge part in staying. Financial inequality is still too real.
Internalized sexism and misogyny.
I don't agree, it might play a part of the original attraction? Oh he's a good provider good with children & like's my cat's but eventually after the honeymoon phase they get comfortable and can no longer hide their controlling ways! I get mad at myself for not seeing it in the beginning
Long ago I heard it said that men are the romantic gender. Well, I guess that's true if you can live your life making messes along your way and depending upon your wife who follows you 5 steps behind to clean up after you, yeah. I'd be romantic, too, if men shared the diaper changing, listening and teaching and playing with the kids, taking turns with all the household chores because, as it is, we both bring home the bacon but I'm always the one who has to clean up the grease all over the place.
As for women in marriage who stay at home? I'm okay if that makes them happy. But there are too many women in that situation who are economic hostages because they cannot work outside the home and bring home their salary. That kind of dependency depends entirely on the psychological makeup of the husband. Many of those women are lucky. But not all women are lucky.
Hi Carol, Women are so undervalued and their unpaid work is well under appreciated. Thanks for reading and commenting!
The quote resonates. Thanks for posting. When was it written?
There will be no equal rights or conservation/climate control if the MAGAS and Project 2025 take over. I am still hopeful that the path will be more forward looking with Democracy. I know I don’t want to go backwards!
Great perspective here, thanks for sharing it!
Thanks, Scott!
Thank you, Dr. Lovely for introducing me to Neil Smith and his work. I see the parallel; Women & Nature as commodities. Both romanticized and sacrificed for what?
Is a reframe possible through conservation? That is a growing consciousness, (hope it’s not too late for mother earth!).
Regarding resources;
What would it look like if women practiced this in their own lives?
Glad I found you 💫
Great questions! I think you hit on an important point there, deconstructing these ideas in our own minds is crucial for finding solutions out in the world.
Also, it’s funny you mentioned Mother Earth because smith leads into this passage talking about how it’s no mistake nature is referred to as feminine as it’s romanticized.
Thanks for reading!
Read the book Woman and Nature by Susan Griffin. It's old, might be out of print, but it's very worth tracking down.
Capitalism is based on ego.
As it seems history (and nature) has taught us that no seismic change ever occurs without friction, I posit that what we are experiencing is the friction of a seismic change trying to happen. Recognizing that there is a need for change begins the process, but the friction of anger, rebellion, refusal to participate, calling out the injustice, really starts to push the shift in a forward direction. I think we are where we need to be - learning, recognizing, beginning to object and refusing to participate. With that comes more friction, and not often without some real consequences. But I am heartened that it is necessary and will bring our daughters and granddaughters into the light, if not us. So I embrace the place we are in and will not shirk from calling it out wherever necessary. If we do that, we’re giving our daughters and granddaughters permission to do it too.
Great post. I don’t know Smith’s work, but a number of Ecofeminists (sub-genre of Feminist philosophy that I teach in my Environmental Ethics courses) have made the same argument. The pattern is the same- creating an out- group and then de-valuing them because they’re different (JD Vance’s “childless cat ladies” comment is a perfect example)
I need to read that book. I’ll ad that to my list. Thank you for mentioning it.
I do believe his words you quoted are very much true and precise, but mostly so in a particular political party. They’re brainwashed by their fake rendition of a Christian God, and that is the most important factor here. Their bible tells them women are the weaker sex. We have to be kept in place, but should be available for their pleasure at all times.
Of course, that carries over into everything they do.
Love the quote by Neil Smith however, he should have included ANIMALS! The treatment of women and animals in a capitalist society parallels the treatment of nature.
Fuck yeah they’re relevant, I love his words. I only wish he spelled out the word ‘animals’ when he wrote them although they’re clearly implied.
I agree of course. These are ideas long espoused by radical ecofeminists like Susan Griffin writing Women and Nature.